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  • hopieobrien

Alchemy of Transformation

That sounds like a pretentious trio of words, yet they hold an energy of truth for anyone seeking to heal heart and mind, body and soul. Alchemy is a significant word peppered throughout history basically tying the drive for a "better" life to the human/world connection, infusing intentions into creation, with "better" being defined by each individual. The most common awareness is that of transforming metals like lead or copper into silver or gold. The purification of the alchemist's fire is meant to elevate lower Hertz frequency metals into higher vibrating Hz metals. I could go into a deep dive of this topic to elaborate upon the science and metaphysical aspects of alchemy - but will leave it to the reader to take that plunge for themselves. Given the plethora of articles on the internet, it is important to filter out what does & does not resonate with each individual. Therefore, I will take the time to find sources I trust and connect those links to this site.

My transformation began around age 21 (I am 57 at the writing of this) when I had a profound flashback to being sexually abused at the age of six. There were not many children my age around where I lived, so I found myself riding bikes with some older kids from down the road (two of which I was forbidden to play with given the reputation of their parents in our small, southern town). The four of us (the other was a teenage boy living a few houses down from mine) ended up in a tent, set up in a backyard..... sparing details of the encounter, when I was able to get away, I made it home and greeted my mother with a tear-stained face but no words to explain..... struck dumb in the face of fear, newly-discovered shame and confusion and the awareness of my small body in deep fight, flight, freeze. Little could I know how this was setting my life on a course that would take decades to discover and unwind the twisted ropes of limiting beliefs, negative core values and trauma-informed thought patterns.

It is here I want to take a path away from the story of my life and move toward the science behind alchemy from an energetic perspective. "Energy" is a word I will use frequently as it is the clearest, simplest way to describe what we are, as Beings on this precious planet. Albert Einstein (my cosmic boyfriend) taught that at the base level, all forms of matter (animate or inanimate) are made of molecules and those molecules vibrate at a hertz frequency (checking the periodic table of elements defines this clearly). Why does this matter? Take food for example: picture a candy bar in one hand and an apple in the other. The apple is literally alive, having been plucked from a tree, it vibrates at a higher Hz frequency than the processed candy bar. These foods vibrate. The human body vibrates. Thus, what we take into our bodies will cause our overall frequency to rise (with the choice of the apple) or decline (candy bar choice). Hey, I love a bag of M&M's as much as a kid on Halloween - I do my best to compassionately put myself in a heart's posture to choose the apple but sometimes, the "fuck it" part of my brain takes over and I enjoy the candy. FYI, during this exploration, I will bring in the neurobiology of the brain, our endocrine system, the Vegas nerve and many other really cool facts of how Beings are knit together. -- I use the term"Being" because this is not limited just to homosapiens. Animals are very much included as well as every aspect of Nature.

It is here I must express my gratitude for the worlds of psychotherapy and neurobiology, chemistry and physics, all being overlaid, creating a wonderful place to discover that I am not a hopeless case. There are REASONS why I do what I do.... I inherited a genealogy of trauma (called epigenetics); witnessed and took in painful decisions my parents made (all unconscious at the time) and took it all in through mirror neurons (later discussion to follow). Then life happens: good things like a new puppy or a stray cat, riding a horse for the first time, creative moments with paint, sexual abuse, bullying in school and from siblings, the first time I liked a boy, getting my drivers license, deep beliefs of unworthiness leading to self-fulfilling prophecies.... all culminating to create a tapestry (a favorite metaphor for looking at the scope of a life) of contrasts -- a deep love for life, the ocean & inhabitants, the animals around me (wild and domestic) trees, flowers, clouds, thunderstorms.... enveloped with gut-wrenching self-deprecation, fears that boarder phobias, self-sabotage, anxiety manifesting in migraine headaches at the early age of eight, depression and despondency ..... swirling together with deep needs for inclusion, safety and protection from harm, to be seen, heard and understood, trust, kindness, fellowship, connection... (I am a student of Nonviolent Communication - more on that to come as well). ** I must state here that I was unaware of said needs, on a cognitive level, because I was not taught an emotional vocabulary - NVC gave this to me and I was 50-years-old.**

What does this have to do with a website about supporting horse health? Quite a bit, actually. Horses literally carried humanity through time. With this awareness, very early on, I longed to be a healer of horses. When I could not love myself, I could love a horse with ease. I see my aches mirrored in my herd (eight legit rescues) and I see it every time I work with a client's horse, or dog or cat..... these beautiful creatures - anything we call a pet - are here to support our evolution. These Beings weave deeply into the magic of alchemy as they are manifestations of a healing path with their meaning, metaphor, and their own personal journeys. This is all food-for-thought for future writings. I want to wrap up this, my very first blog, (incidentally, that word is cringe to me :. I want a new one) with a poem on surrender... my current path of exploration as I transmute and transform my layered and complicated weave of traumas and longings for a "better" life:

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry,

she just let go. She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go…

She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right. She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her day-timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go. She didn’t analize whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go. No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go. There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that. In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her hair. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore. Here’s to giving ourselves the gift of letting go… There’s only one Guru ~ you. ~Safire Rose

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